The Tale of Holiday Hillbilly Ham                                         swartamps.com

Well, we've been hearing something rummaging about upstairs for about a week now and little Danielle has been waking me up frightened, screaming as if Satan was hovering overhead, not letting me sleep for 30 minutes at a time, even when locked in own closet(me, not tike). So daddy decided to find out what was causing such a racket… Upon investigation of the Attic, I found mutant droppings the size of Swart Kitty Hair Balls. The holiday attic aroma was something to behold.

To catch the Miscreant, I ended up going to Harbor Freight to buy a trap larger than a demented cocker spaniel. I baited the trap with cat food (ok, so I also put some Santa cookies in for good measure).

Six hours later, we have a Christmas Miracle:  Hillbilly Ham!

I delivered The Miracle to my last place of employment with a holiday smile.

Happy 2008 and Pass the salt!

- Daddy Swart